Pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

The controversy around the Intelligent Design (ID) theory being taught in schools in USA as an alternative view to evolution is certainly nothing like something new. It’s even been the subject of editorials, reports and articles in the prestigious journal Science for months now- and if something is in Science for so long you should have a strong suspicion that the academic community considers it a core matter. I guess you also know most of the latest “big” developments: the Kansas Board of Education approving ID as alternative to Darwinism (I guess it’s not far-fetched to imagine that Kansas left alone would become a Salem of the 21st century, particularly since ID advocates were careful enough to state that ID is nothing like creationism- why not replace the Bible with Maleus Maleficarum then), a local education board in Pennsylvania being voted out because they tried to impose ID (go go Penn!) , Bush and Blair expressing support for ID being taught, though not as alternative to evolution (in this context the difference is epsilon), the Catholic Church stating that there is nothing wrong with Evolutionism (John Paul II made a breakthrough already by having stated that the soul is the supernatural part of the human entity, the new pope seems to follow his lead)- which is impressive and should back off part of the ID fanatics. If it could only be that easy- after all, as somebody put in a recent Reuters article, ID is one of the most succesful PR campaigns in the last years.

Anyway, to get back to the title since by now you’ve probably been wondering if I am ever going to get there. As a response to all this push for the ID (even from unexpected people such as a few high-class scientists- no, no, no politician would be a surprise here, Bush the least), some people came with alternatives that are indeed more “scientifically sound” and make at least as much sense as ID. One of the them is the “Pastafarianism” or the Church of the Flying Spagheti Monster, which claims that the universe was created by a Flying Spagheti Monster. Bobby Henderson had little idea of the fact that his open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in the beginning of this year would be soon thereafter featured and talked about in newspapers like the US New York Times and Washington Post, the UK Guardian and Daily Telegraph, the German Der Spiegel and Die Welt or CNN, all these making a VIP from 25 years old unemployed physics graduate, over the night. Henderson “built” his Church propaganda on his site venganza.org. Silly as it may seem, the Flying Spagheti Monster-ism is an excellent parody of the ID ideas and many top scientists have already taken seriously its justification, should ID get more ground (should there be more than one Kansas…). Below’s a glimpse into the real beginning of the world, I must say he convinced me much more than the ID adepts did. Or, better stated in the words of Steven Unwin, the author of “The Probability of God : A Simple Calculation That Proves the Ultimate Truth“: if supernaturalism be called for, the pasta family of theologies seems the most plausible, and unquestionably the tastiest with cheese. Amen!

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease…
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